Have you ever wondered.. "What does obedience look like? What does obedience in each step look like? What does obedience in the face of lack look like?" I have a lot of those stories lately and in every case God holds my hand and walks me through it, that is, as LONG AS I AM WILLING and WANT TOO.
I want too!
Let me paint you a picture. I am sitting at my table with a cup of fresh mint tea. Looking at airfare to a destination that is probably as "HOT AS HELL" maybe that's an exaggeration but 125Degrees is pretty hot in my book! I found a suitable ticket but didn't press 'send'. I took a deep breath and started into a monologue with the Lord.. talking at Him and not necessarily too Him. OH GOD! You know my needs. My roomie left and I have have this huge burden of rent for the next several months and I need to travel!!! UGH ...
I walk away from the computer and come back determined to find a 'roomie' and I open an app and a page on Facebook to place and ad. I heard a soft "NO" resound in my spirit. I looked around the room as my custom, and said "really?" .. I heard "no' again in my spirit. I go to the Bible and say, ok .. I need more of a word from you. So I open my study for the day and it basically said, LISTEN TO THE LORD! I relented and said "OK LORD I won't look for a roomie but this stresses me out and I need you to MOVE quickly on my behalf!! "
Literally within a few days I get a message from a stranger. One of my friends that I've done missionary work with in Mexico for years had given her my name. We started a discussion about Israel. She asked for help with a few odds and ends and I gave her as much information as I could. All along I was thinking ... OHHH I'd LOVE to rent her my home while I am gone - but she has children and my landlords live next door and it's a quiet neighborhood! So I let the idea go.
We spoke again a few days later and I asked, so what are you looking for in accommodations? She then went onto explain a "Wish List" .. as she did it took my breath away. You see, she was describing my apartment! I asked her if she would be interested if my landlord okay'd it. She shouted a resounding "YES!" .
I tentatively approached my landlord that night expecting a big ol NO .. but he said 'Sure, why not?". I called my new bestie and said, "YES, it will work!" She asked to made a deposit into my account instead of bringing cash. I agreed.
Fast forward... I only was going to charge her a small fee... but what she deposited was enough to cover my rent while I was traveling.. and it gave me the time that the Lord was requiring of me to paint prior to leaving and quiet time.
I called her and asked, did you make a mistake? She said "NO, my husband and I clearly heard God say that we needed to pay this amount. We believe God needs your mind resting and not worried about finances as you go do what HE has called you to do"
I got off the FaceTime with her and fell into a heap on the floor .. you see this is the beginning of a new relationship with God for me.
NEW? Yes, a new type of intimacy that I've never had with Him before. The relationship for me is not Him as FATHER or God .. but of one that is really intimate where HE HOLDS me and HOLDS my hand and holds my heart and my fears and my dreams in HIS Hand as my 'Daddy'.
It's as if I am a five year old girl with eyes full of wonder . It's like I am innocent all over again and He looks at me and delights in my faith and in my obedience even when I am dragging my heels and whining.
He knows me .. and HE is proud that even when I am scared.. I JUMP into HIS arms in the deep end of the pool ..
SWIM OR SINK.. just JUMP!